yawn.................................
evening all....Today's topic will be....!Regretions. Has any of you made a decision in life that after a few months later regret it? I did. My driver's license. Don't make me talk abt it. Has any of you regret on making a decision that should have occur? I did. My education. As many of you who knows me personally, I am a very ambitious person on the outside, but emotional in the inside. But that's not the point here.
So anyway, I was on the way to meet a very important person that, hopefully pays for my education,and guess who I met? An old old friend of mine back in primary.
"Eh amacam?! Dah lama tak nampak kau."
Grinning to myself, I simply told him that I'm doing fine and still in school.He laughed. I was not surprise. We went on our separate ways and his marriage life was in my head. He's 21, has a wife,a kid and a job that he gotten onli using his N level cert. I'm not biase or stereotypical. But why? Why he threw away his whole future just like that?Then it struck me. Choice. He had a choice and chose the right one for him. Simple as ABC. I imagine myself,being the rebelious person i used to be back then.I could have taken a bad choice. But i didnt.
Bottom line is, I have yet to make a drastic decision that lead me to regretion. Choice. By choice, I am where i am. Whether or not anyone like it.

Well, haven heard from me for quite sometimes? Like any ordinary girls who are broke, my internet got cut off cause of no-payment.
But then again.,...forget the past and now i'm back! WOOOHOOO..... School started yesterday. IBM. it was ok. Very theorectical.....argh.. Being the typical me, i had too much theory in my head. But its ok. I must try and take in all those B.S into my little air-head.Guess wat?i'm back at my home. It's nice being in my world again. My own bed, my notebook, my tv, and not forgetting....my Smallvilles CDs. Well,i have the future episodes. Now you see why i love my world? He hardly talks to me. Onli mum does. But its ok. He will change his moods soon. Today i opened the fridge and found my favourite drink,Green Tea. Hmm... i wonder who could have bought them last nite?
Classes at school are pretty boring,for a start. Maybe i haven got my groove yet. Hopefully soon.
gotta bath now....and cheers to the idea of forming a CAT PARK!!

Carnival has ended today. Then it struck me. I wanna go home. I miss my world. I dunno how he will treat me then. I'm scared. And if i leave my sister, can she cope. Eddy can't be around all the time. Maybe Dilly was right when he said that i do need to understand my needs first. How about my finance? Will I be able to cope? I need to get a job then. It's funny how things can change overnight. Furthermore, I guess i'm the onli one left to be with my mum at home. I can't be so selfish to jus leave her. It's like leaving a mouse in a house of cats.
If life was easy,there will be peace in the world.

evening to many.....
I envy some family. Great parents. Great life with siblings. Yes, I would say that many family has their own dispute. I can’t say that my family do not have. In fact, I have more than I asked for.
Last Tuesday was a nightmare I will never forget. Never forget. If only I had my way. He was mean. His own selfish side got the better of him. I remember the words he said. How vividly I can recite them to you. He hit her. Once. My sister came to mum’s rescue. He hit her too. Not once, not twice. But many times. All by grabbing her hair and slapping her with the back of his hand. He stepped on her fingers and nearly kicked her. Mum grabbed her and hugged her tight. I tried to stop him, but I’m helpless. I ran to my neighbors and seek help. A witness of this brutal fight was born. In tears was my sister and mum in. In fear I started living in. A fear that I will fight thru the next part of my life. Just my sister, Mum and me. He hit sis today. He could hit me one day. But I don’t care. Kill me if he wants. Take the life he gave to me 20 years ago. Try me.
Like it’s always said, money is the root of all evil. And now, I believe. I placed my faith in Allah and hope he will free mum from all these obstacles. She is getting older. I just want her to live her old age in peace. That’s all I ask. If it’s too much to ask, then I will bring peace to her.
All I can advice to many who had suffered in darkness, just come out and shout. It’s now or never.

sO IT was one of those days where I go and do stuff on my own. It's kinda fun actually. Without anyone to to tell you where to go and what to do. I mean, not that there was anyone who does that to me,...... well you know what i mean. Did a bit of my webbie stuff. Going on well. Got Dilly to help me here and there. I missed him. Well,i did see him almost everyday of the week,which i must say, iI see him more often than my dad. Whatever to him.
Life is so full of downs for me. Well thanks to Dilly,i'm getting along "stable-ly" well...thanx baby. Now i got to do the accounts for the shop. I better get along....See ya...

If it's meant to be.....then it shall be