It was kind of a meaningless day today. Woke up
at 11, reach the clinic at 1215, reached back home to continue my sleep at 2.
hee... pretty meaningless.

But tomorrow wont be! Cause i'm going for Womad
2003. Woohoo! Hope to see some cute brazilian guys. But I wont be getting to
know them either. Hee, if u know what i mean.

I have sociology earlier in the day. Arghh....
hopefully it will be more fun than like last week. Damn it!what type of english
am i talking about?Who cares. Cheerios!

 

-Down With Love-

Yoshimi - "Happy Beauty"


What would your Japanese name be? (female)
brought to you by Quizilla

"Terminator
this,terminator that,shootings,killings. Isn't there any other kind of film?"
-Malaysian Prime Minister Mahathir Mohamed, blaming movies that contain sex
and violence for corrupting youths

 

My
verdict; I totally agree with this guy.

So
anyway, I turned myself to indulge in daily news. Unexpectedly, I kinda like
reading now. The Straits Times seems to be a daily neccessity for me to get
in the morning. Really. And for your information, I do not turn immediately
to the Life! section. I turn to the home affairs first. Funny how a girl like
me to read news.

Today's
IBM lesson was great. But truthfully, greatly heavy. I managed to catch up with
my lecturer after the lecture and talked to him regarding some issues that hinders
my progress in IBM. And clearly, he gave me his views that I'm glad I made the
right choice of education. Moral of the story: Don't be too afraid to approach
people who you think are bad in teaching things. Hee...

Ok,
that was the boring part of today's blog. In fact, any one would find my blog
kinda boring cause it doesn't have any "kicks" or whatsoever. I don't
care. (",)

I
met two old friends last week. Both on different occurances. One, was more of
an acquaintance than a friend cause we were introduced by another friend back
in 1999. The other, someone who I planned to live forever with. Past tense.
Planned. After a normal Hi-and-Bye in school, I kept thinking about him. Then
i asked myself, do I miss him? Why do I?The fact is, I do. I really do. Since
then, many things that I do, reminds of him. The usual Burger King we would
go to after school, What Women Wants, my bears ,etc. I can't deny the fact that
I have already some one new. But hey, I'm not regetting here. I love my newbie.
And nothing will change that. What I'm trying to say here is that, sometimes
I miss the presence of my old torn Osiris shoes. But I already have a new Gallaz,
so why ponder when you should be moving on rather than pinning on memories.
Ah f*$k it! yOU won't understand a thing I'm writing here,anyway. You will only
know when you are in this state.

-Auvoire-

It
was an interesting and deeming day for me. School was great. I had sociology
today. It was very informative but the first hour for me was the usual. Sleepy.
So the second hour, i woke up and just in time for the best part of learning
Sociology. Karl Marx. For some of you who would have known, He is the same guy
who was very concerned with the problem of inequality brought by capitalism.In
layman's term, communist. Then formed, Marx's theory. I just can's help it but
worship the Marxists.

Here's
what it states, "They suggest that bureaucrats and law enforcers have the
power to define activities as legal or illegal, acceptable or unacceptable."

Voila.
This is the theory I have long to study. I may follow the Marxists, BUT! I have
my own theory. Don't make me state it here. Cause I can get caught. Hee....
Well I do hope to work for the government in the near future. Trust me in re-building,then.

Oxymoron
day. Deeming.Here's the part. One of my sisters has stole the limelight which
should have shone onto me. Well, just too bad that i'm not the favorite one(despite
of being the youngest) and not good in sucking up to my parents (despite of
having the highest qualification among them). Then again, I wouldn't stoop to
their level of despicable means. So, overall, I'm ok with things. So what if
I don't get to drive. It's not like as if I can't afford my own in the future.
And it's not like as if I would marry men like their husbands. Which I wanna
add, dependable on their wives.

It's
funny how people can be judgemental. Take me for instance, I potray a stuck-up
and bitchy person in my way.So? Should i care what they think? OK,ok...You might
think that since I am saying this, I do. But in fact, I don't. Why should i
live up to their expectations when I have not reached mine?

-Done
and over with-

 

ps:
Reichen and Chip are the official winners of the Amazing Race 4. Well, they
did it. They proved that being a gay-married-partners, doesn't deprived them
from being any normal Americans.Congratulations.

Yawn....................
Been a long week for me. Cruising the roads of Singapore is more tiring than i thought. Argh.
Anyway, school is just fine these days. Most of the time I'm with A and B for most lectures. They are a good bunch. Can trust myself to study with them.
No more CRX at home. Yup, he finally agreed to sell it off. It's up on sale now. A rare beauty like that on sale. Guys, interested?Go and get it. Anyway, gonna get me a set of wheels,he said. Hopefully. Cause i hate using the company's car.
Well, my editorial board are taking in articles these days. None of my articles are good enough so i'm trying to get some inspirations for my next one. Any idea? Just cant decide wat to write about. If i just go with my heart, i'll go with wat i'm most comfortable with, Clinical Depresion. Yeah?!so?Yes, i was in that stage at some part of my life, but doesnt mean i cant write about that. Oh well, hopefully this weekend, i'll be free enough to think abt this.

"Hello."

"Power
Wanger Wescue Yu-nit!"

"Huh?Ryan?
Where's mummy?"

"Mummy
fighting megazot.Auntie where's my bearbear?"

Yes,yes...another conversation
with my nephew. He is jus adorably cute. But hey! that's not the point here.
My topic of the day is far from regarding power wanger. i mean, power ranger.

Back to the matter at hand.
I woke up late this morning. Bloddy damn late for a game which i was so looking
forward to. BB called to check if i was on my way or not. So i rushed! But being
the typical me, i changed my mind and decided to walk over the game. Yes,yes..u're
rite,BB. i am the type of person who gives up easily. I had a conversation with
BB last night regarding how I felt about school and how we drifted apart. He
commented that i give up easily. I guess I am that type of person. But most
things in life, i gave a try first. Before giving up. If i was really that type
of person, shouldnt i be somewhere else right now?I mean, i may not make it
for Alevels. Or even Olevels. hee... so bottom line is, I SHOULD NEVER LISTEN
TO COMMENTS LIKE THAT! These onli bring me down. So for many of you out there
who are often brought down by comments that do not mean anything, PUSH IT ASIDE,BUDDY!
Live your life! On your own.

Ever had a relationship that
you had for a long time and even thoughyt of the future which includes the letter
M?! And ever had that same relationship ended? Yes, ended. Even if u didnt have
that relationship, I did! I regret,actually. Cause it was a very long term for
us. Then it ended. I did the dirty work. When i look back last night, i realise
that maybe it was for the better. He was very nice to me when we were together.
Then we went apart, his behaviour changes towards me. Well, i know. Any fool
would. But why does it change? OKOK...here's the sociological thinking i have
in my head. In the start, we are good frens. Then we became closer. Then voila!
We are the newest couple in school. School ended and so did we. So why cant
things go back to the era of friends? Til now, i do not have the answer. I tried
and so did he. Until we come to terms that he couldnt accept it when i'm with
someone else. I think this is the point where I have to disappear completely.
It's either him, or me.

So what i'm trying to say
here is, when you end a relationship with one party unwilling, take time to
listen to him/her. Trust me, it would have help me alot if i did. Better still,
move on...without strings attach. When you're still young, you have better things
to worry and ponder over. Accept the fact that things will never be the same
again.

 

its really hard to adjust to a new environment. for
me,that is. well eversince i moved from the stress-through-3-years world,into
the intelligent-rich-everyone-likes-you world, i am absolutely alone. really.
i go to school alone,have lunch alone, sit at lectures alone.... it's not that
i'm not trying to make friends. i do. just that in reality, some of them would
call me as an aquaintance than a friend. it's really saddening sometimes. but
i'm not remorsing. being alone seems to be the path that i had face for a long
time. through out my life. at home, i'm alone. despite of the big family that
i have. now that chaos has happen, even worst. no one would talk to me at home.
him? rite....i hardly see him. her? all she talks about is other people's problems.
and her never ending story of my sisters.

argh,bottomline is, i think i'm better be a loner.
i'll just be stuck in my virtual insanity.

YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...............!!! It's finally over!!!! I am a qualified driver now..... no more visiting to BBDC. Yahooo.....!!! da dadee dadadada....

the bbq was great,eventhough i was late. (it ryhmes,huh?) BUT! watching a fight in the MRT is more fun! Got this abang who got pissed off by this Nigerian guy . Being the typical abang, he wanted to wallop the guy!ahhahaha WALLOP! what a typical abang-english-word. u should have been in the train and had the same fun as i did with Dilly. Luckily Dilly was there, otherwise i would have lose control of my laughter.
so tomorrow is a long day for me. first lesson of sociology. some said it's a killer subject. looks like another quest of adventure for me....



aLL american rejects-swing swing

Days swiftly come and go.
I'm dreaming of her.
She's seeing other guys.
Emotions they stir.
The sun is gone.
They nights are long.
And I am left while the tears fall.

Did you think that I would cry.
On the phone?
Do you know what it feels like.
Being alone?
I'll find someone new.

Refrain
Swing, Swing from the tangles of.
My heart is crushed by a former love.
Can you help me find a way.
To carry on again?

Wish cast into the sky.
I'm moving on.
Sweet beginnings do arise.
She knows I was wrong.
The notes are old.
They bend, they fold.
And so do I to a new love.

Did you think that I would cry.
On the phone?
Do you know what it feels like.
Being alone?

Refrain

Bury me(You thought your problems were gone).
Carry me(Away, away, away....)

"halo?auntie Dah!mirmot got baby.many baby."

"huh?ryan?are you sure?onli got 2 mirmot wat!how can have many baby?"

"really.the white mirmot got many baby.ryan scared to touch"

okok....so you're lost in the conversation?so was i...until i see it myself. my hamster gave birth.arghhh... i left my pets at my sister's house and my dear 3-year-old nephew,Ryan, called me to tell me regarding the newborns.By the way, "mirmot" is a term used for hamster in Indonesia. Erm...if i'm not wrong. correct me if i'm wrong.i miss my hamsters. if you're wondering why they are there, cause remember the day i ran away from home? yup...i took them with me and left it at my sis house. now that i am home, i have a huge problem bringing it back. transport.heee...... dun blame me. blame my laziness..

this is how i felt during my IBM lesson..........



so anyway,my day was supposedly to be good.Until i reach home. argh. its back to normal here. my "normal" is when i reach home,no one will ask if i'm ok,or have i ate or was school difficult. NOPE. no-way-hosey. it was all back to what it used to be when its jus me and them at home. one will complain abt the other. the other will hurl at one. argh. is this wat marriage life is abt? for them it seems so. so right now, there is bound to be fights later on. trust me. i jus cant take it anymore. everyday, there will something goin on. nothing seems right. something...jus something..... why?cant someone jus tell me why? i jus hate living here. i'm not pampered and want things jus in my way. i jus need some peace here. is that more to ask for? sometimes i think none of them jus wanna listen to me. listen to my thoughts. jus listen. but none wanna hear. none. and even now, i have lost my onli confidante in the house, thats makes it all complete. i might as well jus drop dead since my presence is such a pest. but before that i will get a recorder for her so she can jus say once and press repeat for him to hear. and get millions of lottery tickets for him,so most probably he will win and more money will roll on. then he is satisfy.

As you drive though those winding roads,
blurry scenes passes you every moment,
As you go through life,
vague images and experiences are portrayed.

lamp posts, and street signs are wat we see,
but the checkpoints define the journey,
people come and go in life,
but the ones tt makes u feel special is wat we seek.

despite pickin up hitch-hikers is not advisable,
there are those who make your journey lively,
despite talkin to starngers is wrong,
the one tt we seek in life might be him/her.

every ride holds its diffrent destination,
but we all start from home,
life beholds different experiences,
but we all start from our mothers womb.

live life thru the heart,
cause it is the place where we find our true self....

its 0026 now. jus got home. Dilly sent me home. i disappointed him once again. it's not by choice. well it is,if you consider getting scolded endless of times by my mum. but i still disappoint him again. yes i know he gave in alot. even though it doesnt equalize to me giving in,but at least i do. however my fact is usually minus out with his favorite word."always".i'm trying to make it work here.
many things have changed in this family. he became more stubborn. mum led by no choice. and for myself, i left with two. one, go by his rules. two, let go the bribery. i miss the good ol days when none of them are married. all of us at macdonald house, having happy times with good old fries. me next to him, being the pampered one. fighting over who gets the chocolate shakes. i win.
its never like that anymore. everyone has their own life now. left me.

hiak hiak.
hiak hiak.
hiak hiak again.

I know,its meaningless. Just bored. and sleepy. Anyway,i should have gotten a nicer present. Bleugh. Back to cafe tomorrow. one word. ARGH.