this man was caught dancing all the way thru out the whole gig at Lasalle-SIA.

welcome to my new shell
not much of change from the last shell. i just wanna change the web add. hee...

so anyway,today werk was usual. i usually make fun of ppl werking on sundays. and look at me. i slog from 7am to 3pm.Yes, on a sunday. nothin new. but things will change when it's Fasting month i hope. well, this is wat happen when u encourage your dad to open the shop on weekends.

so i did went to Indscent exposure last night. it was great. compare to the technical fault last year on Indcent Exposure, it was still great. no asp,though. let's revive the memories.... hee... okok....well i guess it was long gone. well it was the first gig i met you-know-who. but hey, no sad moments now,ok?
well hopefully my review will be out in the next issue. written by .... ah- ah- ah....no way i'm telling u my real name. well, i'll let u know if the article is wat they want.

IBM......tml or wednesday.dunoo dun care. we'll see wat time i wake up.

the CRX is back. tomorrow that is. my dad and sis are urging me to drive it. i dunno. i haven try it though. so lets have confidence that i can drive a sports-no-power-steering-heavy-yet-fast-car. we'll talk abt it then.

and i thot i had a good day today.

i was looking forward for tomorrow at Lasalle to clinch a new article.but things are looking bad cause my mum just had to tell me her problems and it really made the whole thing pitiful. asking me to help out tml night. but mum!tomorrow is like Indscent Exposure! i've been to the one last year,and i wanna go to the one this year,even though ASP is not playing.arghhhhh. now i'm really torn between two. when last time i wanna help,they say no cause i have to study.and tmr?! sighhhhhhhhhhhhh. now wat?

argh.one word.argh.

i thought i cleaned up my head.i really thought i did. but i guess i didnt. still runs thru my head. looking for the path way of enlightenment is not the answer. it's the walking that makes it hard. someone help me. i'm lost in my own head. i don't follow my heart. should i? no i should not. be strong. but i'm weak. i'm my own weakness.

I'm so tired......It was the last night at Sengkang for the weekend.Frontman was not available.He had to to attend some family matters in Indo. So i was made the frontman.In fact, I was the frontwoman. It was an amazing show we had to do. It was all sisters' night. Cause even my 2nd sis helped out. Dilly had other stuff but still, i dun think i should ever ask him to help. He minds. I'm suppose to have IBM tomolo morning. nd gosh, i'm too tired to wake up i think. So if i do awake,i'll go. If not, i'll join the guys on wednesday class....

another matter that i wanna tell u readers is that, do you believe in ghost?actually i dun. but i do believe that there are some unrested spirits around us at all times. many things happen to me at home whenever i'm alone. Usually i just tell myself it's just hallucination or just my imagination. But it was until last night, i totally freaked out. really freaked out.for those of you who live in the north, you would find that the night was cold cause it had been raining. so as usual, i had my blanket on me though i was wearing long pyjamas. then some how, in the middle of the night, i suddenly woke up. but i didnt intensely moving, just my eyes open. Know why? I felt that someone was climbing on to my bed. So i thot,hey maybe it's my 2nd sister cause she's sleeping over. Until...i realised that i had my door locked from inside. i got frightened and when tried to go back to sleep. Until.....i felt my blanket tugged away from me. cause it's obvious!I felt very cold!!!! i quickly grab my blanket and got under it,closed my eyes and said some prayers. I fell asleep....

it may sound phony to you, and may look like as if i'm just trying to make up some story. But its true. i'm not lying. besides, someone had warned before of this place before i moved in. too bad i wasnt listening hard enough.

My hamster really loves baby corns. He can eat like 3 corns a day.WOAH.
So anyway, i spend my saturday mainly at home. work hard last nite. But i did manage to go and catch a movie with Dilly. CAMP.Its a good educational show to let your kids watch, except for the part on a boy being gay or the part when another boy is a flirt who slept with another underage.
There's a contest upcoming up soon. I told Dilly abt it. He wants me to take up. But i dunno.... he said it was a miss that i passed on the Anugerah,and hey.there's a new one... But i dunno.it has been a long time since i did this. Well we'll see if i can get the right stuff to start with.

I just wanna say. I am not shallow. Stop implying me like as though I'm so shallow about things. I thought you would understand me best.

subjected to conventional prejudice
victimised by non-secular ideologies
reprimand me, it leads to grief
repress me, the freedom of belief

i refrain from satanic worship
the peace of mind i wanna keep
yet im accused of being sinful
a blasphemous misfit, a view so obtuse!

i am obstinate in my stance
pierce my heart with a lance
and i still wont budge
it still will stay as such

i feel like atlas, bearing the world on his shoulders
each accusation makes me more sober and mind clear
i hold these fistful of ideals eternal
isnt it in death every soul meets the devil

if love means you can see right through to my heart
then god would see it the sincerity of every beat
and in my life, my heart and my death will i present to him
although my consistency of worship history is grim

you cant preach to me the maxim of religion
do you expect me to perform a pirouette to "redemption"?
here i present to you my burdensome discarded
in textual display my frustrations are heard

arent there any others who feel the same
in their being they carry this bane?
i am certain i am not alone in this
band up, together we will fight this beast

whose wrath in this prose will i incur?
be it anubis of egypt, titans of greek culture
go ahead, make my day, in your way
but hear then what i have to say

and if love isnt made to order
why should we then bother
about all those threats of hellish torture
why arent we spared from being thrown into the fire?

is it that my kind according to biblical scripts
are thrown into the level of hell infested by harpies
god should love us for we are his children
he was the one who presented us with our burdens

and if individuals snort and lash out with forked tongues
will i instruct them to look into my mind's eye far flung
in the deepness of maturity does it reflect
will it lead to the realisation of respect

and if in this rap you oppose my point it seems
then label me the blasphemer supreme...

Done By My old schoolmate, Ridzal.

Just wanna wish one of my best friend, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! nOW YOU'RE Same age as me!!!hehhe...

so...will you see this dull and sarcastic snob at the party?

Someone forwarded an email to me,and i read it even though most of the times i just delete without reading forwarded stuff. But this one caught my eye. Something that explain the regarding yourself. Something that explains just by the first letter of your name. I read "I" and it was very true. Someone who is adventurous, not willing to commit, but when one does commit, one remain loyal. This was one of the few characteristics. Oh yeah, one more was that, I like to contradict myself. Example is the forwarded emails. But that's not my point here. What I was gonna talk about is, me. Well it is my blog,rite?So I have full right to blow my own trumpet. Everything that said there,was true. when I began to commit, I would remain loyal. Just one problem. If love life, I dun agree. If getting a job done, i totally agree. hee......so my friends, bottom line is, you just wasted time read this paragraph cause right now, I am totally lost in words. hee....
Do you believe the fact that opposites attract? I do. Do you believe that similiarities attract? I still do. But when you are with a person who shares totally different views with you, you think about,whether it was the opposites that attracted you to that person? Is it worth giving that person a shot? I did. So far in my life, I seems to have my own views that no one else shares. So thru my life, I deny any fact that refuted mine. Yes, i'm selfish. Why you think I live in my own world. Sometimes, i tell myself I dun care what others think. But most of the time, I tell myself to listen,rather that care, to what others think. (Dun get corny on my theory or "think"/"say") Back to the matter at hand, sometimes, opposites does attract. But later on, most of the times, your attraction lessen. And what would be your solution? Start listening. Then think. lastly, decide if your attraction is worth rekindling.

p.s:None of the above is based on any occurances.So dun feel offended. Even though sometimes I might lie, just try to push yourself to believe what i just said.hee...

Now it's gonna be 12am.to tuesday.school starts.sigh.............and i just realise in the last 2 minutes, i have tutorials due later.argh. one word. argh. how can i be so absent minded? to think that i have straighten out my priorities.argh.but i did good deeds to my maths.hee....but that doesnt minus out the bad deed.
my babies hamsters had a fight.4 died. 3 survivors.sigh. please take a minute of silence for John,Johnny,Jonathan and Jotham.OKOK....so i jus named them randomly.but they do need a name to be remembered.agree?
well back to my normally-boring-life now.cheers.

Its gonna be 6am in the morning. Well, I dun have IBM later,anyway. Jus got back at 430 just now. help my sister move around. But i didnt feel too good suddenly,so i wasnt much of help. I dunno why,but i often get dizzy spells out of sudden. No, i wont. I wont go back to that damn depressing clinic. they only give stuff that make you feel sleepy and prevent you from thinking of commiting suicide. i'm done and over with that. i think.
i drove his van just now. feel weird. but it was a safe journey all the way. however, my heart would beat very fast each time i'm in that van. i wonder why. oh well, maybe it's the triangle that make me nervous. better get to sleep now. wanna start studying early later. cheerios

oUCH.I burnt my pockets.spent too much at adidas sale.hee.cant resist.got new tops from topshop too.hee.okok.i was suppose to be saving,but i cant help it. i need a new wardrobe.anyway,got inspiration to take more pictures using my very hi-tech(he said so) digital camera. rather than letting it becoming a white elephant,rite?i got it cause i thought i need it. sony carl zeiss 4.0. still trying to pay for it,though.must use.hee

Oh well, so much for changing the site. Got cooped up at home all day. Didnt go to the library today. felt lazy. plain lazy. got tired of looking at the pc screen.sucks
if you guys notice, i placed my hamster's pic below. his name is Madrid. he has 7 kids. 2 weeks old. i'm looking for parents. anyone who wants to keep hamsters as pet, contact me. same species as the one u see below.
hmm....free advertisement. oh well. who cares. as long as i could get some response somewhere.
Nothing much happen lately. Precisely. arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
-lost and not yet found-

Argh.wat the hell is going on here?

It's been one week since i wrote. I dont know if i was too busy or too lazy. Cant decide. Many things had happen and some part of me have regretions,yet anguish. school is fine. jus have to werk hard. WOMAD was great, but had to disappoint someone and broke his heart. I knew this was coming. The part where I have to give priority to things. I guess I still haven learn my lesson. Some times I dont see the need to until I realised,"Hey, why do i think of others before thinking abt myself!" Well I do. Now i realised that I do too much for others and none for me. None for the little part of me who just wan to be......me.
Probably you wouldnt understand. I'm torn between the imaginary line of family and him. In fact, I think I'm the imaginary line. I'm just in anyone's imaginary minds.
-lost-