so i'm mad about cats.

i love the family cat. Kontot Aka Totot, Tot or just Kontotot. and i'm mad about my hp too. yes, the one tt i changed twice to the same model when i lost the first one. haha. but tt besides the point. the point is, as i was at Changi for Ayam Penyet (i think 2-3 weeks ago), i saw a grown Kontot. but hey, i dun think Kontot will have her tail grown as long as the Changi cat.

i wonder y?

it feels like some out there is waiting for updates! yes, by the no of hits i get. weird.

updates? yea sure. Got my gown yesterday. ooo am i excited. big day. oh, no. not my wedding. my graduation. so the past few days and upcoming, i'll be trying different make-up styles for tt day. hehe.. so everyday after make-up, i would try the mortarboard and take a pic. haha. vain, i know. but i cant help it. i've been waiting for tt day to come for years. i know it's not a big deal to a lot of ppl, but it is to me. my first degree. oh, y i said first? haha maybe got second? hahah. oh well, wat the hell, i dun care wat ppl say. i'm just excited.

oh, and i forgot how the bridal lady taught me to wear the hood. help, anyone?

oh, and i found a perfect song for teddy and me! excited,kan??

Ungu - Tercipta Untukku
menatap indahnya senyuman diwajahmu
membuat ku terdiam dan terpaku
mengerti akan hadirnya cinta terindah
saat kau peluk mesra tubuh
kubanyak kata
yang tak mampu kuungkapkan
kepada dirimu

Chorus:
aku ingin engkau slalu
hadir dan temani aku
disetiap langkah
yang meyakiniku
kau tercipta untukku
sepanjang hidupku

aku ingin engkau slalu
hadir dan temani aku
disetiap langkah
yang meyakiniku
kau tercipta untukku
meski waktu akan mampu
memanggil seluruh ragaku
ku ingin kau tau
ku slalu milikmu
yang mencintaimu
sepanjang hidupku

aku ingin engkau slalu
hadir dan temani aku
disetiap langkah
yang meyakiniku
kau tercipta untukku
meski waktu akan mampu
memanggil seluruh ragaku
ku ingin kau tau
ku slalu milikmu
yang mencintaimu

Oh-oh... yataa?

i had quite a chat with a few certain ppl in my life. it's a good chat lah. it's like making u realise tt your life is not the only miserable one on this earth. sometimes, things happen for a reason. it's either we just swallow it down, or simply ... confront. which ever it is, it takes a real human-being-who-able-to-think to have that strength. i'm not proud of myself. i did bad things before and karma would-and-had hit me. and i learnt from them. until today, i would remember how ppl bad mouthed me and say things that even i cant imagine ppl say to me. for godsake, who would have the right to judge me. i know i judged ppl before and thus, now ppl judged me. i'm fine with tt.

with my happiness in my life right now, i feel tt i oughta be happy. i deserve happiness as much as everyone on this earth. to forgive is a must, to forget.... ahhh tt needs to be nurtured, seriously. there are certain ppl i know who are sore or unhappy with wat they have because of the ppl around them. i am in no position to tell them tt, "Everything will be ok". but i'm in a position tt any fren would be. tt is, to be a listening ear and a trust tt no one can take away from. i may sound a bit profound in this blog, but i have to cos i have a point to make. u see, i have limited number of frens, because i take each fren tt i already have seriously. if i have too many, then i'm divided. even though some frens were never there for me, i'm ok with that. it was then tt made me realise who are my real frens. ask yourself this. Are u a fren? What makes u a fren? Why would anyone wanna have u as a fren?

i have a bad habit of driving and flossing at the same time. i know tt's disgusting. but i'm happy as it is. i didnt care who sat next to me in the lorry. but tt is besides the point of this entry. what i'm trying to say is tt, i had thots of the certain ppl in my life. and i managed to realise certain aspects of ppl.

Those who are happy for others, deserve to be happy as well.
Those who are not happy for others, do dont deserve to be happy.

sometimes, we dont need the extra worry for others ard us. we are human. we make mistakes. but brooding over something tt is not worth your time, is unnecessary. if we want to be happy, then we have it. to be bless with feelings is a gift tt God sent us. i forgive, but i have a hard time to forget. but at least i try. when we wake up in the morning feeling awful of a person, we end up feeling awful on tt day. when we forgive a person and try again, we feel of a less burden.

i know my advice is probably the last thing anyone would heed. but these are just my inner thoughts for today. for those who "kena the chilli", i'm sorry. maybe it's just coincidental tt it's about u. i just had to do this, because a fren who i truly envied his circumstances is going thru this in his head.

with tt aside, NOFX anyone?
heee...

Fiddy is biased.

i know i shouldn't be biased. all of them have great powers and equally needed to save the cheerleader. oops. i mean save the world. i just so love Milo. sigh. oh yea, he has a brother too, in this show. YATAA!!!!!

OH, i'm in love with HDR too. anyone wanna go photo-taking with me?

Fiddy lost her mind

last weekend, i could feel a fren was in distress.

before tt, i thot my frens forgotten about me. i hardly see them after school. and when everyone started working, i did not.

but last weekend, my fren, yes my best-fren-cum-confidante, needed me. i felt helpless,really. but knowing him, i knew he needed some comfort when he looks for me with a problem. as much as i could help him, i couldnt. it's not tt i cant, but i dun no know. but one thing was comforting is that, he came to me. and i'm glad tt as a fren, it was enough for me to comfort.

i hope everything is fine now. including his anguish and his gf. sigh.

moving on, rumours came to me tt a few more ppl knows where my new job. haha. not surprising. the human mouth can sometimes work like the email/msn/friendster/yaddahyaddahyaddah. it's not a secret, but the lesser ppl who knows, the better. so anyway, work have yet to begin. cos training starts first in april, which i am so-looking forward to be back in school. just hope the hardisk part of my brain is working just fine.

along with that, i've actually made a few investments thinking. and no, i'm not talking about the next Dorothy skirt i'm eyeing. i'm talking abt real-savings investments. i guess i started out late, really. but better late than never. i do hope, however, tt the next generation do think about their future investments carefully. cause basically, wat i thought about was just the tick i had in my brain and not from ppl who encouraged me to invest. ahhh future. sometimes i blame myself for not planning for the future.

Comments time!

ok. new face lift. comments, u all.
yenjoy!

welcome back

i remembered my first not-local-and-huge-boy-band concert. Take That. wow. i was young and i was a boy-band chaser. but Take That is probably the reason why i started tt journey and ended tt journey as well.

then, last week i saw a familar face on MTV (yes, i have cable now). without knowing wat's the latest hits or popular songs these days, i was swearing when i thot i saw Mark Owen. eh, ah-ah lah! it is seems. apparently, Take That came out with a new album. and yes, now i'm hooked to Let It Shine. Golly! Gary barlow still looks good. oh, yes Mark Owen too.

still at the matter in hand for cable (ehem-ehem), i was keen to look forward to StarWorld's Heroes advertisement. cos they keep playing this really nice rock tune. and boy, was i KEEN. thanks to the advanced technology we have since eons years ago, i managed to find the track. and boy, was i shocked. apparently, Nidji (yes, an indonesia band) sang tt Heaven song in that commercial. woah. yes, i'm like a Jakun person now.

my first.

so i dared myself. a request came in to have a full colour site. it's my first time. my usual palettes include black,moron,grey and white. yes, tt's how simple i think. but emerald green request came. haha. okok, so i didnt really use emerald green. it's too daring. but yea, i found a simliar one.

so Syu, hope u like wat u see. an changes, just let me know. oh, read my email,aight?

my paparazzi kitty

it's friday and today is the day they will close both the house's toilets due to the full renovation. Yes, in a day's time i will be showering in a hotel-like bathroom. but because of circumstances, i and the rest of the family (except my sister who woke up extremely to bath), have not bath. yes, including the Cat. i know it's disgusting, but u have to pay a price for beautiful and last-forever and ever bathroom. yucks.

and yes, i'm home to supervise. it's my shift yet again. hope to make it to gym later. of cos, by then i hope i've bathed. so wat i do while the workers work? i will definitely NOT offer to make lemonade (with a touch of vodka) and flirt like we know who does. instead, i'm editing.

i dunno eh

sometimes i wake up in a brand new day with great ideas. but once i sat down and start scribbling, everything's a mess. argh. i wasn't born talented. but i try my best to learn different things. well, yes. using a brush. i hate it. it's one of those days tt u cant find the right inspiration to do the right format for a site. dammit.

anyway, another day at home to supervise the construction of the homely home. awwww....

sometimes it just hurts

as sapiens, we love and hate. we can love the sun but hate it at times. we can love money but hate it for being the cause of problems. we can love our loved ones, but hate them for many flaws. so when do we stop?

truthfully, to close this blog takes alot of courage. it's an addictive thing i do now and then. what else can i say? i started this blog way back in 2003. made over 680posts so far. how do i part with it? i can't. but i have to because of so many hateful ppl who takes my blog like a information unit for the ISD. i just hate tt.

my obsession

So i'm obsess with my cat. oh, her name is Kontot aka Totot, because of her short tail. oh, use ur cursor over the pic to slow down

Listen

Listen to the song here in my heart
a melody I start but can't complete

Listen to the sound from deep within
Its only beginning to find release

Ohh the time has come for my dreams to be heard
They will not be pushed aside and turned
Into your own,
all 'cause you won't listen

[chorus]
Listen
I am alone at a crossroads
I'm not at home in my own home
And I've tried and tried
To say whats on my mind
You should have known
Now I'm done believing you
You don't know what I'm feeling
I'm more than what
You've made of me
I followed the voice, you gave to me
But now I've gotta find my own
You should have listened

There was someone here inside
Someone I thought had died
So long ago
Oh I'm screaming out
And my dreams will be heard
They will not be pushed
Aside or turned
Into your own
All 'cause you won't listen

[chorus]
Listen
I am alone at a crossroads
I'm not at home in my own home
And I've tried and tried
To say whats on my mind
You should have known
Now I'm done believing you
You don't know what I'm feeling
I'm more than what
You've made of me
I followed the voice, you gave to me
But now I've gotta find my own
You should have listened
I don't know where I belong
But I'll be moving onIf you don't, if you won't

Listen to the song here in my heart
A melody I start, but I will complete
Now I am done believing you
You don't know not what I am feeling
I'm more than what you've made of me
I followed the voice you think you gave to me

But now I got to find my own - my own